high people should be assigned attendants
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
