So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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