I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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