Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry philwill03 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.

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(310): View more from California

so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?

(818): View more from California

by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ

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(555): View more from

She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.

(555): View more from

Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)

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(251): View more from Alabama

my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.

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