I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
