i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
