You smell like stripper and shame
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
