Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
