we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
