My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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