just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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