Sry I called you an 8
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
