That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
