last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
