You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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