I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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