Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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