So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize