well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
