I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
