i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
