Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
