"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
