She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
