did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
