Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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