Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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