I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
not ubering you a puppy
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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