Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
