So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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