I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
