the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
