you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
