haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
