what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
