Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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