it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
