Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
