i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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