i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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