I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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