What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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