I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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