we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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