He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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