i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
