Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
BRING THE BAGELS
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
