So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
