So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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