I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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