Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
