So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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