from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
