lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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