I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
