I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
