Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Sorry my hands just texted you
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
