Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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