Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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